Visit with my grandkids

Sunshine, hibiscus, family, ocean and sand, walks, cooking, baking, reading books to grandkids, playing games and make believe, Bible conference, slobbery kisses, tight hugs, snuggles and giggles, scattergories, late nights, early mornings, laughter and lots of love. Need I say more?

Easter Dinner

Wow! I'm featuring cuisine photos again. The food is just part of the story though. Today I had the privilege of meeting, talking, and serving dinner to some remarkably brave parents. These people are going through some really tough times. What a blessing it was when 3 lb. 2 oz Issiah's 17 year old mama asked me to admire the pictures she'd taken of him today. I listened to a Shiprock mom who is struggling to balance her time between her busy 2 year old and a new daughter who weights 1 lb. 3 oz and is fighting for her life. I made up a to-go plate for a gentle father whose 2 year old, Isabelle, is recovering from yet another major reconstructive surgery to repair significant birth defects. I laughed with a happy little 7 year old girl, Jalisa, who explained to me that she couldn't eat the strawberries because of contraindications to her chemotherapy. She's got another 3 weeks as an outpatient. She and her family live near the 4 corners. I prayed with a very exhausted couple whose little Alice was born just 3 days ago at 29 weeks gestation. She's 2 lbs 6 oz. And I served another couple whose 4 year old son is being treated for a particularly nasty pneumonia. They have a 5 week old son with them at the RMH.

These are just some of the parents who are currently guests at the Ronald McDonald House (RMH) which hosts families whose children are receiving treatment at the University Hospital. These families live 100 or more miles away and thus can't make the trips between hospital and home. There is no cost to the guest families and the RMH strives to provide a friendly and safe environment. Everyone gets a hotel-like room of their own but it's the common areas that make it so special. There is a huge fully equipped kitchen with 3 stoves/ovens, 5 refrigerators and freezers plus pantries full of food. There is a computer room, playrooms with lots of toys, videos and games galore. There are patios, an outdoor playground, and a large dining area. The house is consistently full now with about 30 guests. An addition is under construction which will double the occupancy.

Several of my friends from Bible study helped by bringing food to share. I made the hams and the desserts. I had to take pictures of the bacon-laden dishes for all you bacon fans, especially Aaron. Jan made those yummy bacon wrapped green beans, and Michelle made the new potatoes garnished with bacon. Not photographed were Kari's classic jello mold and salad that thankfully did not contain pork.

My interest in RMH was born from the two weeks I was a guest of RMH. It was in frigidly cold Ohio where Cara underwent neurological testing at the Cleveland Clinic in January 1993. The staff and volunteers there made a difficult situation a lot easier for me. I'm so grateful that I am able now to help and encourage other families.

Pink Tea

Today my dear friend Jan and I enjoyed a blissful 2 hours of friendship and mutual encouragement at St. James Tea Room. The atmosphere was splendidly elegant and the service was impeccable. The Tea Room offers a special Pink Tea for Breast Cancer survivors. It is amazing to me that I'm now in my 10th year post mastectomies and cancer. It really seems a lifetime ago that I went through that challenge. And of course I can only thank God for carrying me through it and getting me to this side. I now after all these years see how He is working that trial for my good and His glory. The food was absolutely divine and we enjoyed savoring each bite. We actually took the entire 2 hours to eat through the three tiers. Our waitress had to gently ring a bell to alert us that our reserved two hours was coming to an end. As we stepped out into the sunshine again, a bit disoriented from our time of total relaxation, we thanked God for the sweet respite from our normal routines.

I'm 56 years old!

It's my birthday today and it was a great day. I actually got to walk outside in the Poblanos fields after church. This sure beats doing my daily walk in the yucky germ infested mall which is where I've had to do my exercise all winter. The sun was shining and it was probably 50 degrees, no wind. The girls and I went on a little shopping trip to Anthropologie, decidedly fun store. Retro fashion and home decor with 50's era influence and flair. Check out this cute apron, ala Mrs. Cleaver and Donna Reed. (click on the picture to see the details like the slight v-neck, the bows on the pockets...) Steph bought me the apron and some very cute blouses. Then we headed to a family Italian restaurant and enjoyed lots of bread and olive oil along with our dinners. Carrot cake for dessert. And I'm all set to go walk it off tomorrow.

A mama's heart

One of the riskiest things I ever did in my life, I did purposefully and repeatedly, 5 times in fact. That was to choose to have a child. I think it can be said that to choose to be a mother is to choose to wear your heart forever more outside your chest, open, soft, unprotected, and vulnerable.

Don't get me wrong. I'd choose it again and again. But it seems that as moms, we women have offered to bear the most intense heartaches imaginable. Not only our own bumps and bruises from life, but now also the magnified injustices and aches of our precious children. From the moment I cringed in horror as the doctor cut through Aaron's umbilical cord, I have felt each and every real and imagined hurt that my children experienced. I wanted to hold tight and never let go of each of my babies. I would have gladly taken on their owies and boo-boos and earaches and tummy aches and colds and sore throats and scrapes and scraps with their friends. And as they grew I prayed they'd be spared all emotional hurts. But that's not how life goes. And I've of course had to allow each of them to forge their own paths and feel their own pain.

When I was younger, I thought that once the kids were grown, my job would be done and I could tuck my heart back inside. Not so. I still ache deeply when one of them is hurting or struggling in some way. I still get on my knees every night and pray for God's hedge of protection around them. The up-side of my never ending vulnerability is that this swollen and exposed heart is also able to feel abundant and amazing love and pride.

Aaron was notified today that he has been chosen to handle a very important new client at SDCR. His unfailing attention to detail in pleasing the Cosi stores has been recognized and appreciated.

Charles, who at the tender age of 13 taught himself calculus, has again triumphed in "doing it myself". After months of self imposed discipline and training, he finished a full marathon Sunday in Napa showing remarkable perseverance in spite of severe knee pain.

Nicholas didn't do anything particularly noteworthy this week that I'm aware of. He continues to show me what a wonderful Papa he is to my precious grandchildren by working hard to support his family (and country) and by his selfless love for his wife.

Stephanie who has been supporting herself through college announced to me yesterday that she will graduate magna cum laude with a 3.9 grade point average. That's mighty laudable, too.

Cara got back up on her feet after the latest struggle with seizures and she's out in the world again doing what I was once told she'd never be able to do.

So there it is. My heart still vulnerably beating outside my chest, but grown, oh so big, through the privilege of being a mom.

Surprise-My kids have surpassed me in blogging now. It's been a long couple weeks since I've added an entry. We're still cold here in NM. I found some daffodils at the Whole Foods and bought a couple bunches to brighten up my winter mood. It worked. A little dash of sunshiny yellow in the front room gives me hope that spring is right around the corner.

I cooked up a big pot of green chili chicken noodle soup today and brought it down to the Ronald McDonald House. I had baked a lasagna and brought it also; then while I was there I baked up some biscuits to go with the soup. I got to talk to a couple of the families staying there. Both had newborn babies in the NICU. They're waiting for their precious babies to grow some so they can take them home. Meanwhile, the families stay at the RMH as they live in the far corners of the state. Having some homemade food is a real treat and nice break from the nasty hospital food. I signed on for Easter dinner, too. I'll see if I can recruit some friends to join me there. I still remember how much I appreciated my 2 week stay in RMH in Cleveland, Ohio 13 years ago. I'm grateful I have the time and energy to help other moms out now.

We are very happy that Cara's video-eeg study, as grueling as it was, revealed some surprising and valuable information that the doctors can use to better treat her. The REM sleep disorder is very fascinating. Easily treated with the right medication; she should find improvement in daytime energy level and hopefully in seizure reduction. Cara's seizure neurologist is referring us to the sleep neurologist at the University Hospital.

My childbirth classes are going well. I continue to enjoy my time there. And I continue to be amazed at God's sense of humor with me. My lifelong dislike for teenagers, my neurotic need for order, my many biases and prejudices are all now being challenged in this work. And I'm grateful for that. I love that I'm still flexible and teachable!

For anyone out there interested,( Jen?, Aaron?), the Ricki Lake documentary, "The Business of Being Born" is now available on Netflix, either on DVD or downloadable off the site. A must see. Spread the word. We've got to get young women to see the truth of birthing and reclaim the process. Where are the women libbers now when we need to assert our right to have our babies our way????

Kids, don't just read and leave. Give me feedback or encouragement on my ramblings.

Care Net- Empowering Women

Having spent the last 9 hours in an intense workshop for new volunteers, I need to write my feelings and thoughts about my involvement with Care Net Pregnancy Center. (CNPC) I have been teaching birthing classes at the central CNPC office for the past 6 weeks. I had signed on at CNPC with my pre-conceived (no pun intended) notions as to its mission and tactics. I now know that I was wrong in my thinking that Care Net was simply a pro-life, anti-abortion clinic that would in my mind be justified in using whatever tactics it needed to promote life. But I stand corrected. I learned today that this ministry really asks us to first and foremost demonstrate the love of Jesus to all who come through the door. And His perfect love is all about grace and mercy, kindness, patience, and tenderness, and allows for no judgment or condemnation on our part.
 
 God has planted me in this organization so that I could again be humbled in awesome gratitude for all the grace and mercy extended to me by my Father. How easy it has become for me to forget that I was once in crisis, unmarried and pregnant. I am no different than any of these young women who come through the doors of the clinic now.
 
 Care Net strives to empower women to make good decisions for their lives and the lives of their babies and believes that they will make better decisions after receiving full and accurate information on all their options. We do not pressure these women, manipulate their emotions, show gory pictures, lead them toward the decision we think best, scold, chastise, or judge them for past or future decisions. CNPC provides support for any decision they make, be it to continue the pregnancy, parent the child, make adoption plans, or abort. We pray for life for the baby and salvation for the moms. But what we were taught today is that these outcomes are the fruit of our tending to women's immediate need for love, understanding, acceptance, and access to resources for support with their pregnancies.
 
 I will labor on (again not pun intended) in this ministry, now with the express intent of sharing God's love, mercy, and grace to each and every one of my clients. My struggle is in righteousness, and I'll have to ask continually for a spirit of humbleness as I do this work. God has placed within me a burning passion to empower women in labor and birth. I know He wants to use me for Kingdom business.